


CHARACTER STUDY - Kaeto Adaar

by Bipolar_Armitage_Hux



Series: The Lost Age [8]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Asexual Character, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Hooker AU, Hurt/Comfort, Mobster AU, Modern AU, Multi, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Vashoth, binge eating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 05:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7788211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bipolar_Armitage_Hux/pseuds/Bipolar_Armitage_Hux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since I enjoyed writing the Dorian one so much, I figured I'd do one for my own OC, his boyfriend Kaeto Adaar. His life as a Vashoth, growing up and trying to get used to his looks, his family and struggling with an eating disorder, and how he eventually gets out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	CHARACTER STUDY - Kaeto Adaar

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: mild description of binge eating and forced vomiting. Very mild and other than that it's okay.

Kaeto didn't like his body and he probably never would. Not because of dysphoria mind you - the hormone blockers and surgeries he'd had at thirteen and fifteen had already sorted that out. His parents never made a huge deal out of the whole thing, when he was five he had informed them that he was a boy. It took another three years for his twin sister Ataashi to tell them she was a girl and Ataashi always joked that she "copied" Kaeto, their parents weren't shocked because they asked Ataashi how she felt when Kaeto came out. She said she didn't know but she didn't feel like she fit anywhere, they told her that was fine too. When she decided she was a girl at eight years old, they were prepared and knew exactly what to do. It was a family joke that they switched places, gender was never a huge issue in their family. Did their parents mess up from time to time and say the wrong thing? Of course they did, but they always managed to talk it out and for the most part they both had a happy childhood. Or at least, a nice relationship with their family's which is more than some people can say. So, Kaeto's body hadn't bothered him for years and even then it never bothered him too much as a child. His parents told him he had a boy's body because it was his and that was that. The issue he had was more with everything that wasn't considered sex related. He hated that he had always been smaller than most male Vashoth - he had small hands, thin arms, skinny legs and he was short. He didn't like the fat on his stomach and his hips - whenever he caught his reflection or photographs of him he always felt he looked ridiculous and out of proportion. His family always insisted he was handsome but he didn't believe them, his parents also said he'd have a growth spurt, grow out of his puppy fat, and be just as tall as his father. That never happened. He used to wonder if it was transition related, when he was about seventeen he spent hours on his parent's computer researching as to whether if he had been born with his body how he wanted it he would look normal. The computer just told him what his parents told him "people are different"... He wasn't satisfied with that answer. He thought he was doomed with this body, he wanted to change it but didn't know how. When he was nine he had started kickboxing lessons as a way to handle his issues with anger, they had worked a lot and he was healthy and fit. Or at least he thought he was. No matter how much he exercised he still had a soft, fat belly and hips. The internet, television and doctor all told him that the exercises he was doing and his diet would make him slim and muscular - like his father and all the other male Vashoth he saw. It didn't. Sure, he could now defend himself and no one at secondary school dared call him "oxman" any more or make fun of his horns. He didn't take his anger out on his sisters or parents any more and that was good. But he still didn't feel right. So he stopped caring but not in a good way.   
  
To this day Kaeto doesn't really remember what happened between sixteen and eighteen, and to be honest his family couldn't really tell you what was wrong. For Kaeto it passed in a hazy depressed blur and the only person he talked to about it was Ataashi. She wanted to help and she tried but she didn't know how, besides she was a teenager too with her own complications, and at sixteen she was still recovering from her own surgery. He couldn't talk to anyone else and he didn't know how to. He started eating a lot- anything in his cupboards that he could put his hands on. He'd not eat much during the day - skip breakfast, skip lunch, and only eat dinner because his parents made it for him. Then at night when his parents were asleep he'd go down to the kitchen and eat whatever he could. He'd sit in front of the television or his computer and he'd disassociate. He couldn't tell you how much he eat, but afterwards he'd feel so guilty he'd make himself sick. He thought he hid it really well but of course everyone knew, they just didn't know what to do about it. Ataashi was particularly worried but didn't want to tell Kaeto that. His parents asked him constantly about things that could possibly be wrong "is everything okay at school?" He'd grunt a yes in reply. His father awkwardly asked him about relationships and Kaeto didn't have much to say in response. He'd only openly told Ataashi that he liked men but didn't want to have sex with anyone and "is that weird"? Ataashi opened up about how she liked girls but differently to Kaeto. Talking about it to his dad however? That was just weird. At nineteen he brought home his first boyfriend and no one really cared, by that point Kaeto suspected his parents assumed he was sleeping with him... Until they broke up and a crying Kaeto had opened up to his mother about how it was because he didn't want to have sex with him. At that point his parents had assured him they loved him even if he was asexual even though they didn't understand. His mother had talked about how back in Par Vollen sex and marriage weren't a big thing there, an off-hand remark from Kaeto about how that sounded great worried her... Did that mean he would have been happier in Par Vollen? She kept thinking. Did she and her husband do the right thing? She was in some ways relieved however, she felt like she might have had an idea what had been bothering Kaeto as a teenager - finally. Did she? Not really. His mother, Kamali, didn't actually have any idea and she did know that really - but she pretend that she did for her own comfort. Kaeto seemed better now, anyway. Which he was, he wasn't "cured" but he was certainly better.   
  
Kaeto knew she never really understood - neither did his sister Marjani. She really was the perfect daughter - married to a Tal-Vashoth (Shokrakar, Kamali and Karaas loved hir a lot. Ze was the epitome of everything they wanted in a child-in-law.) Marjani was beautiful, strong, intelligent, accomplished, never seemed to have a bad day in her life. She had long, thick, brown hair that fell down to her waist like a waterfall, big eyes and a grin that managed to make the room light up. She was the first Vashoth to become a professor at the University of Orlais. Neela was too young at this point but thankfully she did nothing but run around, be constantly covered in mud, and shout and scream. Even then she looked like the rest of the Vashoth - when Kaeto was young you could tell he was short, gangly and bow-legged. He couldn't help but be a little disappointed when her horns started to grow and they grew straight back, arching at the end like the rest of the family. He didn't say anything but he couldn't stop the intrusive thoughts that screamed it at him - she was like the rest of them and he was alone. He didn't look right in a school full of mostly elves and a few humans. He didn't even look right when he was with the rest of the Vashoth. His body didn't look right and his face didn't either. He wasn't ugly exactly - he was just out of proportion and "funny looking". His nose was a little too long, he had an overbite, his face looked a little twisted and his jaw rested a little bit to the left. His right ear had been badly scared from an accident years ago, Neela's magic was first showing signs and one of them was whilst they were play fighting she accidentally threw fire at his face. Most of the burns healed on their own, just not his ear. He grew his hair out to hide it, and when his long tightly curled hair got too big and long Kamali made him get it put in dreadlocks. He quietly admitted it was better that way, It was starting to completely cover his horns. It's not that his mother really minded too much, she just thought it might be a sign he was letting himself go which in itself was a sign of depression. She was right. There was another fairly big sign however that she couldn't solve quite so easily.   
  
At seventeen, out of no where, Kaeto dropped out of sixth form. When he came home one Friday afternoon and broke the news his mother screamed, shouted and cried. She was sure his father would be on her side but he wasn't. He insisted it was Kaeto's choice, then suddenly he started shouting at Kamali - she and Kaeto stared at him in shock and fear. Karaas didn't shout.   
  
"We both fought so our children would have choices Kamali, and this is one of them. He needs to choose his own path, not one we've set out for him." Kamali took a step back with tears in her eyes and left the room. Kaeto and Karaas stood in silence not talking about the heavy feeling of despair and shock in the room. They never talked about what his mother and father had gone through back in Par Vollen. Kaeto knew it was bad but that was it.   
  
"I-" Kaeto started to be immediately interrupted by his father.   
  
"The school say you can go back if you change your mind?" Karaas said, quieter this time but his voice still echoed through out the room.   
  
"Yes but-"   
  
"Take a few days to think it through, if by Monday you don't want to go back we'll talk about where you can go from here."   
  
"Thank you," Kaeto replied, it was a really great thing to hear after the argument with his mother. "But what about-"   
  
"I'll talk to her," Karaas replied with a sad smile. "I'm proud of you, chico." When he saw Kaeto's confused expression, he took a step towards him and put his right hand on his shoulder and lifting up his chin with his left. "You did what was right for you, made your own choices, no matter what anyone else thought. I fought for you to have this choice, even though this seems small, it's not. I'm proud of you." He smiled, let Kaeto go and walked out of the dining room and Kaeto listened as his steps quickened as Karaas made it to his and Kamali's room. Kaeto stood in silence as he heard the hurried discussion above him. He wasn't sure what he was feeling as he stood in that very spot for an eternity, he felt exhilarated, proud, angry, upset, happy, free... He felt alone in both a good way and a bad. He felt excluded. He desperately wanted to storm upstairs and shout at them both, how could his father not talk about this for seventeen years and then just spring it on him? How could his mother have been determined to let them have a life full of choice and then shout at Kaeto for his choices? At least, Kaeto thought, it went better than I thought it would.   
  
Kaeto didn't end up going back to sixth form, he worked behind a bar for a while (he was offered the position of a bouncer but he didn't want to "be a stereotype") and he got into drinking... A lot. His life was mostly working, drinking and in the time he had left sleeping and writing. He barely ate then but he still didn't lose any weight around is stomach and hips to his dismay. He still lived with his family and although they worried, at least he had started talking to them again. As soon as he turned eighteen, he actually seemed happier. Kamali often talked to Karaas about how she wanted more for their son than a bartender, he responded how he did then. "It's got to be his choice.   
  
After a few years of this, one failed relationship, and a few more things - Kaeto had another bombshell to drop onto his parents. This time it was that he was going back to college to sit his A-Levels, to this news his mother was ecstatic and very supportive. Karaas nodded but was mostly quiet. The second part of this news was what made them both have a very strong, negative reaction. It was that he wasn't going to college in Ostwick, he had spoken to Marjani and he was going to stay with her until he found a place in Val Royeoux. His family weren't too happy to see him go, they had a circular argument with lots of "why not in Ostwick?" and "why not Antiva? We could always go back to Antiva!" Kaeto laughed at this, when he was fifteen he would have killed to hear those words... Now it was different. He assured them it was what he wanted, he wanted to see the world, he wanted to get away, and he wanted to go back to school. In the end they relented, he insisted that it would be fine. He could still see them! They all got to see Marjani quite a lot after all. They weren't happy but they were supportive. They helped him move and helped him enroll in his four A-Level choices (A Thedasian Literature class, History of Art, Philosophy, and Politics). When he got there he was happy to be away, but when they left he spent hours crying into his bed. He didn't realise how much he'd miss home and his family until he left. Marjani and Shokrakar comforted him and made this easier, Shokrakar joked about how his attachment to his family made him a true Vashoth. They took him out for drinks that night and he knew he was going to be okay, especially when Ataashi moved over to be closer to him. That's when things really started to get better. 


End file.
